I've been watching a lot of movies the past few days. I'm no movie critic or anything, so I'm not claiming my opinion, or the writings of aforementioned opinions, to have any merit. Probably spoilers.


A Beautiful Mind- this actually fell just a little short of my expectations. But my expectations were totally sky high (won oscar for best picture, russell crowe is my favorite actor) Still an all around brilliant movie. I absolutely loved the character Crowe created, and Jennifer Connelly was surprisingly good. My expectations weren't met the final scenes of the movie, as the plot went towards a more digestable, conventional conclusion. Lame. But it's not that bad, and it certainly doesn't bring down the rest of the movie very much. My biggest fault is the total inaccuracies in portraying John Nash, the IRL mathematician whom Crowe portrays.

The Departed- I'm not a fan of cop movies, or gangster movies, but.... ho-lee SHIT this is such an amazing film. Everything about it is just perfectly executed. The director, Martin Scorsese, was completely spot on the entire movie. Every scene, every shot, had perfect flow. Nothing felt unnecessary or out of place. The plot was engaging, with several twists that kept things interesting throughout the entire film (not always easy when a movie is two and a half hours). Best of all, nothing felt predictable. In terms of acting, I think it collectively might be the most impressive movie I've ever seen. Usually a movie with great acting is shown through a great lead, with one or two impressive supporting roles. This movie juggles two lead characters, played by Matt Damon and Leonardo Dicaprio, who both give tremendous performances. Mark Wahlberg has a fairly small role, but makes it dynamite. Jack Nicholson's character is just indescribable. Amazing. Amazing actors, amazing plot, amazing everything. This movie is amazing.

Garden State- I checked this movie out because of how many of my friends enjoyed it, and the fact it starred Zach Braff was a nice consolation (I'm a pretty big scrubs fan). I wasn't expecting an amazing movie, but I also wasn't expecting something completely devoid of originality or poignancy. The writing in this movie is just.... terrible. It tries to be quirky and anti-holywood mainstream, right down to the hip "indie" soundtrack, but the irony is how much this movie plays to terrible cliches. Braff's father could have just worn a sign that said "Emotionally distant father, I'm the bad guy" and not have to have said a word the entire movie. Braff's character was realistic, and also completely failed to make me give two cents about him at any point in the film. Natalie Portman was the only actor who portrayed any kind of talent, but it doesn't help when the character she was playing is cooo-mpletely irritating. Also, no chemistry or dynamics whatsoever between her and Braff, the central romance of the movie. I can tell the movie tries really hard to be deep and clever, but it's just typical Hollywood conventions given a fresh "generation y" coat of paint. It must be spoken of how bad the closing scene is. Braff and his four day love interest are sitting in the airport. O NO THEY R SAYING GOODBYE. Braff makes his sentimental farewell, and walks up the escalator, leaving Natalie Portman behind. OMG WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT LOL?!?! HOLY SHI, HE BOARDED THE PLANE AND REALIZED WHAT A MISTAKE IT WAS LEAVING BEHIND THIS GIRL HE KNEW FOR LESS THAN A WEEK. Cue Braff running back to the airport, cue campy speech, cue make out scene. Vomit. If this movie is supposed to "define a generation" as so many people have said, please leave me the fuck out of this pretentious, self absorbed group.


As you can see, I'm much more passionate about things I dislike.


Sin City- There is no other movie that captures the spirit of a comic book better than Sin City. I'm not even talking about graphic novels by Frank Miller the movie was based off of. No other movie has come close to recreating the surreal, illustrated world of comics like Sin City does. The movie looks incredible, the use of black and white actually feels appropriate and not shoehorned in for "artistic" reasons (Schindler's List) The dialogue and the characters are all a little too profound to be realistic, but the movie wouldn't work any other way. The characters, despite most of them being completely immoral and evil, are all totally likeable. This movie just feels exactly like a comic brought to life, which I wouldn't say for pretty much any of the superhero movies out today, despite some of them being excellent movies in their own right. Completely immersive and entertaining, and ridiculously stylish throughout.

Little Miss Sunshine- Great movie, the acting (particularly Steve Carrell) was top notch, the plot was original and unpredictable, and it ended very well. I'm running out of steam, because I really just want to talk about...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- I think I wouldn't have hated Garden State nearly as much if I hadn't have seen this movie just a day before. THIS is what a romantic movie has the potential to be. It doesn't try to paint a romantic relationship as perfect or instant. This movie shows, to me, a romance that is completely realistic, and the beauty in that realistic relationship. The couple, Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, are both very different from each other and very flawed (Carry is socially repressed, Winslet is spontaneous and emotionally unstable), but through their performances, and a top notch script, the movie really shows how these two people could realistically fall in love with each other. No other Hollywood romance I've seen comes close to the level of substance and authenticity of the one here. Just for that alone, Eternal Sunshine would be an excellent movie. But it skillfully adds elements of comedy and sci-fi, trippy camera effects, and completely seperate side stories outside of the main couple (but aren't trite or irrelevant to the movie's structure), that all add dimensions to the film. The soundtrack is also completely wonderful and fitting to the movie. In my top 5 of all time.

I'm going back home today. I feel sad for some reason.

so far the time with my stepdad has been better than I thought. I've been watching movies night and day. The only thing that's really been bothering me is the smoke. My god. He smokes in the car indoors, EVERYWHERE. When I lived with him, I was completely used to it. After living in the fresh air for a year, it's terrible. But I mean, its been fun. Today I stayed up until about 7 in the morning, went and ate breakfest with some of my family, and came home and went to bed. That was an interesting experience. I have another breakfest date today at 9:30. My original plan was to just go to bed early, but I think I'm just gonna not sleep at all today. I'm about to watch the departed.

I wish there was more to report on. Once I head back home I'll probably have a write up on all the awesome movies I watched (and re watched)

Oh yeah! I'm going to write a novella this summer. Complete with my own illustrations. I still have no clue on any of the details yet. But it's going to be done.

Summer. I fucking hate summer. It's been "summer" for barely five days, and I want to bash my head in the wall already.

My confidence, or lack thereof, keeps haunting me. Every now and then I think it's no longer a problem. I've matured, I've progressed. But it always rears its damn ugly head at me. I've really been battling with it a ton lately. At the moment, I'm losing.

In school, I don't have to compare myself to others as much. Everyone is in the same place, given the same task. It puts me on the same level as everyone else. It's a really, really nice feeling. A feeling I absolutely cherish. Competetion, social interaction, a forum to express myself; school gives me all of these things. There's almost no excuse for me to be self conscious.

Now it's summer. Everyone isn't so equal anymore. It's a free world! Some people go out and get jobs, some people go across the country, some people get high with their friends everyday. There's so many I could think of off the top of my head.

I feel like my friends, every single last one of them, are actually having a life without me. I know I'm not unique. I know I'm not the only person on Earth who is in constant symbiosis with their computer. There are probably other teenagers in this world who spend an entire week leaving to walk the dog and not much else. I know other people like this. The problem is that I'm not them. These types of people usually wouldn't change their lifestyle if they wanted to. I usually can't stand these types of people, but I'm one of them. It completely aggravates me. Hell, I'm not even talking about just being out of the house. Even INSIDE my room it's pathetic. I have absolutely no capacity for any dedicated hobby. I wish I could spend hours on end practicing my guitar, or painting a mural on my wall, or reading big, lengthy novels. But I can't do anything that requires more than a pulse. The only reason I'm so addicted to my computer is because it allows me to communicate with other people. If you, oh loyal reader, wanted to do nothing but talk to me over the internet for say, 12 hours straight, I wouldn't have to move anything out of my schedule to make that happen. My AIM is Kuja62. Humor me. But that doesn't ever happen, because everyone else actually has shit to do. I'm going to see my friend Ben in California for a week. It's going to be amazing. But it doesn't really change anything. It's just a week, and it's a very exceptional occasion.

This is why summer is consistently the worst part of my year. It forces me to look at myself in the mirror. The longer I have to look at my own reflection, the more disappointed I become with what I see. And inevitably my lack of confidence once again rides out of my subconcious and dominates my life. I think all of the energy and self esteem I had coming out of this school year, has all been effectively demolished. And it's only been five days. Fuck.